Today, I see the plastic surgeon, Dr. Handsome and Perfect. I’ve made my decision and I’m going to discuss it with him today. It’s Friday and I show up a little early knowing that I won’t be waiting long. What medical office runs late on a Friday….none. Everyone wants to get home on time on a Friday. The nurse calls me back and does the full work-up. temperature, weight, blood pressure, and pulse. This will most likely be your pre-op appointment, she tells me. It’s all getting so real.

After the nurse steps out of the room, he comes in a few minutes later looking handsome and perfect, even after a full work day. I’m anxious, to say the least. I tell him that I’ve made my decision and I tell him there are several reasons why. He listens to me and then tells me that he understands and agrees with my decision. We talk about the surgery. He explains everything to me step by step. He tells me what to expect during my recovery and after. We discuss my expectations about appearance. I want to be at least the same size as I am now, if not, a little bigger. He tells me that he will get me as close to what I look like with clothes on as I do right now. As we discuss the reconstruction process, I’m calculating a time line in my head. By my estimation, I’m looking at a solid nine months from the time of the surgery until the reconstruction is done. I tell him that I’m leaning toward silicone implants and he gives me the pros and cons. He asks me if I have any questions. I tell him no. I have done so much research at this point I feel like I know what to expect. He tells me that once I meet with my oncology surgeon, we’ll set a date. It shouldn’t be too far out, he tells me. his schedule is pretty open. I feel good about this appointment, this decision. I sign some consent forms and once we’re done talking, he offers to walk me out. On the way out, he tells me if I have any questions I can call him or I can call him if I just need to talk.

I check out with the receptionist and I’m on my way. Next week, I’ll see the surgeon and I hope to have a date for my surgery scheduled. In the mean time, I’ll just try to keep it together. But I feel that I’m at peace. Take a deep breath and carry on.