But No…

I have a 9:30 appointment with Dr. Impossible to See today. I’m a regular here at the Cancer Center and the routine is familiar, Check in, update my information, ID bracelet, and off to the waiting room. I’m early so I sit and read my Kindle and wait. At 9:30, the doctor’s gatekeeping nurse calls me back for weight, blood pressure, and some small talk. We talk about the recent batteries of appointments and tests that I have had. Back to the exam room, change into a gown, and wait for the doctor. This time, before Dr. Impossible to See comes in, his physician’s assistant comes in. I’ve not met him before and I’m already not getting good vibes. He asks me if I have seen the MRI results on line and I tell him yes. He asks me what I think. I tell him, quite honestly, that it does not make sense to me as I’m not a doctor. He tells me, at least I think he tells me, that he’s not sure either. His English is questionable, at best. Well, thanks for wasting the first five minutes of my appointment. He tells me that he will go get the doctor to discuss the results. He’s out and I wait for the doctor. Dr. Impossible to See comes in with Nurse Amazing and we begin discussing the MRI. It confirms what we already know, I still need to have the mastectomy on the left side, but there are no areas of concern on the right side. At least there’s a little bit of good news. I leave the office feeling somewhat better. Now, I just have to decide on having the single mastectomy or the double. I’m still not sure yet, though. He wants me to come back in a month after I meet with Dr. Handsome and Perfect, the plastic surgeon. I leave the office and head back to work. I know I still have difficult decisions to make and don’t want to make the wrong decision. I don’t want to over treat myself and put myself through more than I need to. I get back to my office and within 15 minutes. my cell phone rings. It’s Dr. Impossible to See. He tells me that he made a mistake while I was at my appointment. In fact, there is an area for concern on the right side. He recommends another mammogram and ultrasound. I agree and he tells me someone will call me later in the day to schedule it. I’m dejected and a little bit concerned to say the least. I thought this was supposed to make my decision easier, but no. I carry on with my day as best I can. On my commute home, the scheduler calls me and I ask her to try to schedule me before the 13th, the day I see the plastic surgeon. The 11th it is and it’s a done deal. When I get home, Mars and I will have a talk. Maybe, I will have an epiphany. But I need to make a decision……SOON.

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