Mars’ 40th birthday party was an overwhelming success. The band, the food, family, and great friends. How could it have been any different? I made it through and I’m not sure how. The shock of my diagnosis was there all weekend. But I kept it together.

I’ve already gotten a call from the Genetic Counselor….several times. The first time we spoke, she made a point to tell me that she had already gotten two calls on my behalf. Was Nurse Amazing one of them, I ask. As a matter of fact, yes she tells me. That’s why she’s amazing and it’s comforting to know that I have her in my corner. Especially when you begin to wonder if everyone has your best interest at heart…but that’s a story for another day. At first, we set up an appointment in August. Then after playing phone tag for an entire afternoon, we decided that I would see her on Monday. I’m sure she is capable, knowledgeable, and educated, but I can’t help but think how much she sounds like Moon Unit Zappa.

Going into the appointment, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Mars doesn’t work on Monday so I ask him to come with me. I leave work early, the first of many shortened work days to come. Since he wasn’t working today, I ask Mars to come with me. We drive 50 miles to the Cancer Center. It’s part of enormous regional medical group. My doctors are only about 10 miles from my house but the genetic counselor only takes appointments at the main hospital. So, road trip.

We’re sitting in the waiting room and I make an observation. I’m a very lucky lady, there are many other people here who are in far far worse shape than I am. As I people watch, I see two young-ish women walk through the office, giggling along the way. I immediately know one of the two is my genetic counselor. Not much later, I’m called back for my appointment. And my observation was correct.  Valley girl introduces herself, it’s nice to meet her since I’ve spoken with her over the phone a few times since last week. She introduces Giggles who is also a genetic counselor, but who is here only to observe.

We sit down and she hands me a stack of papers and pamphlets. More light reading material for when I get home. She gives me an overview of how the appointment is going to go and we get started. It’s all about my family history. Tell me about Mom and Dad. Are they still with us.  How did Dad pass? When was Mom diagnosed with breast cancer? How many children do your aunts have. Do any of them have a history of cancer. Once we work through the family tree, she draws me a diagram and explains BRCA 1 and BRCA2 and how I should be prepared to make a surgical decision once I get the results. She tells me that she’s going to put a rush on the results since my appointment with my Cancer Team is in 10 days. The appointment was easy and she, I, and Giggles exchange pleasantries. She takes me down the corridor to have my blood drawn for the blood test portion of the program. And then I’m done.  All that’s left to do is sit and wait. I can’t help but dwell on her statement that I need to be prepared to make my surgical decision based on the results. It never occurred to me that I should. Am I prepared to make a decision? Well, I guess I have to think about it now.

Mars and I drive home. I have 10 days to Google everything I can about breast cancer, genetic testing, and surgical options. Wonder when I’ll be able to sleep through the night again???