After a restless night’s sleep, I drag my sorry self to work. I have to make the call, my logical and intelligent (reasonably) self knows that. But I somehow manage to put it off for half of the day. I need to find a quiet place to talk so I wander into my friend’s office. She’s traveling this week. Just do it, you’re an adult make the call.

So I call and the doctor agrees to see me on Thursday, two days from today. Can I leave it in its compartment until then. I try. Afterall, my obsession with Dr. Google has not yet begun, it will soon, though.

Thursday takes an eternity to arrive and I couldn’t be in a more foul mood. But I manage to put on a good front for Mars. We commute to work together every day because we also work together. It gets tense sometimes but we make it work. I leave midday for my appointment and I will come back afterward. My family doctor is a perfectly kind and competent doctor. We discuss family history and the state of my health before he begins the exam. Yep, there is definitely something there. It moves. Ok, let me step out and I will be back in a few minutes.

There I sit, in my gown open to the front – the first in a long line of gown open to the front exams. I wait and wonder and worry. There is no way this could be healthy for anyone’s blood pressure. But, if I go down, I’m in the safest place for it.

Doctor comes back in the room. Here’s what we’re going to do. Tomorrow at 1:00 pm you have an appointment for a mammogram at the Women’s Imaging Center. Monday, you have an appointment with the surgeon, Dr. Straight to the Point. Her specialty is breast surgery and she’s the best around. You’ll be fine and I want you to follow up with me in two weeks. We exchange pleasantries and he leaves me in the exam room to change back into my civilian clothes, nothing open to the front. My head is ready to explode. AND I get to go back to work.

I make arrangements for my next two appointments when I get back to work and I grab Mars to give him the abridged version of my visit to the doctor. We finish the day and head home for what will be a very tense and sleepless night.