November 5 is creeping up on me and it’s like I can hear the footsteps behind me, they’re getting closer. I haven’t had an appointment or seen a doctor in over a month. After months of having what seems like weekly appointments, my life feels like it has returned to normal, except that it hasn’t. And I can only imagine that things will never be normal, just a new normal. I have spent the past month preparing for my surgery. I bought a few items of clothing that should make dressing easier. Button down shirts, yoga pants, men’s tank tops. I cleaned the spare bedroom where I plan on recovering. I downloaded a few books to my Kindle. I’ve read all the blogs and websites. There is a lot of useful advice out there, hence the men’s tank tops. Who knew that I would need safety pins? Someone out in cyberspace did. All of my work arrangements have been made. At this point, all I have left to do is wait and worry.

Today I scheduled my pre-surgical testing for 8 o’clock. It’s the first appointment I have been to in over a month and there I am back to reality. I arrive early, as usual and I have to wait for the department to open. Once they do, I check in and the nurse takes me into an exam room for the anesthesia consult. I learn that the EKG and chest X-ray are good for one year, so I don’t need to have them done again. Once I answer the battery of questions, I move on to have my blood test. I barely feel the needle. Not sure if the girl was really good at her job or I’ve just become numb to being poked and prodded. I’m done with everything in less than 30 minutes.

I leave the hospital and head to work for the day. It’s Friday. I can do this…